Burn The Ships

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I recently listened to a song titled “Burn the Ships” – it got me curious. What did this term mean? After some research, it turns out that ancient Grecian armies would land on enemy shores to wage war and the first command from their captain would be “Burn the Ships!” – an inspirational battle cry to muster courage and commitment for there is no turning back.

What a way to move ahead. I think of the emotional work and courage it takes to be healthy emotionally in our modern society. It is easy to keep all our options open and not make any sort of commitment – which could be advantageous – like free trials for Amazon prime, Spotify, you name it!

However, with human needs such as relationships – commitment and courage to be vulnerable are the essential ingredients to a healthy and secure attachment.

For relationships to be successful, there are times we must “Burn the Ships” that brought us ashore to a land that is unfamiliar and seemingly dangerous.


Inward Journey

Our culture can often be defined by busyness. At one time or another we’ve probably all have gotten caught up in it. From young to old we’re running from one activity to another hoping to enjoy the fruits of life abundantly. Some people call it “FOMO” the fear of missing out.

Henri Nouwen says something so profound yet simple. It makes me think of a great tree growing and flourishing in a thousand year old forest. The farther out it’s branches grow the deeper it’s roots must be.

So, perhaps it is with us.

May your weekend be one of inward growth that allows abundance on your outward journey!

State Shifting

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We’ve all been there – we are upset about something – perhaps a fight with our partner, a stressor at work, or someone just cut you off in the car on the way to your local coffee shop. You get in line to order your morning latte and boom! The barista says hello and you can’t help but feel angry at this other human being talking to you. Poor barista!

Our emotions can often overflow in this way. We are humans- full of feelings and sometimes we need a little state shifting to move us from the funk towards feeling and operating more authentically to who we want to be in that situation.

So, what is state shifting? Continue reading “State Shifting”

Holidays and Grief


With Halloween in the rear view mirror, we are beginning to see the signs of the holidays all over – in the mall, in the grocery stores, on television.

For many people the holidays can bring up stress and anxiety. For some, grief may be ever present. Especially if you have lost someone close to you or have relationships that are strained – the holidays – marked by family gatherings can be a sensitive and difficult time of the year.

Continue reading “Holidays and Grief”

Different Parts of Self

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Often times we go through life not knowing or understanding that there are different parts of us that have various- sometimes opposing- feelings or thoughts about a decision, circumstance, or relationship.

In many people, one part of themselves is more critical and harsh whereas another could be more compassionate and gracious.

When facing a situation or a decision, it could be helpful to separate out the parts of yourself for understanding. Ask yourself: what is this part like? what does it feel? Look like? What does that part’s voice sound like? Then ask about the other parts. The goal here is not to banish or repress one part – it is to have empathy and understanding in order to fully integrate the parts. This is a key towards emotional health.

Slowing down and exploring these different parts can lead to a more settled and confident move forward. Stability before mobility.

Happy Wednesday!

Trauma and Stress

Trauma can be big or small. Often times when people hear the word trauma they think of big incidents like 9/11 or a car accident. However, trauma can be “little” as well. Anything from being teased as a child, having a fight with a friend, a harsh word from a parent to a relationship break up. Trauma is like a wound. We go through life getting cuts and scrapes and usually we place some antibiotic cream over the cut, then a bandaid, and the wound heals. However, trauma is like a wound where a foreign object has been inserted inside and no matter how much cream or bandages the wound has – it is unable to fully heal.

Continue reading “Trauma and Stress”